The State of the heART: Forgiveness Isn’t a Choice, It’s a Command
Stepping into the new year, it’s easy to focus on external resolutions like career goals, fitness plans, or financial strategies. But how often do we pause to assess the state of our hearts? One thing I’ve perfected is cutting ties all in the name of ‘protecting my peace’. When it comes to flight or fight, you can guarantee I’m flying and never turning back, but the Lord has been convicting me and I started to check myself. Who am I not to forgive a person for offending me when I’m a mere human who also offends? This question really rocked me. That isn’t to say you shouldn’t have boundaries but the bible makes it very clear that forgiveness isn’t something we get to do whenever we feel like, it’s something we must do at all times, no matter what.
In a powerful episode of Matters of the Heart, host Zoe Alexandra challenged me to prepare my heart for 2025 by addressing four critical obstacles: offence, disappointment, pride, and disobedience. This episode was a timely reminder that true transformation begins from within. I listened on my way to a hospital appointment and it brought me to tears. I very quickly realised I was stuck in my old ways, holding onto a lot of hurt and cut people off as a way of ‘protecting’ myself. I spent the entire journey praying to God for forgiveness for holding grudges, to soften my hardened heart and to teach me to let go and let Him. I learned so much about myself in this episode and I’m still learning Here are some key takeaways I hope will help you too if you’re struggling with unforgiveness.
Understanding the Weight of OffenCe
Zoe begins by discussing offence, a subtle yet deeply damaging issue that can take root in our hearts if left unchecked. She explains how harbouring offence can lead to bitterness, affecting our relationships, mindset, and even spiritual growth. Offence often arises when expectations are unmet, whether in friendships, family dynamics, or workplace interactions. Zoe encourages listeners to confront these feelings with honesty and seek healing through forgiveness. She emphasises that letting go of offence is not about excusing others’ actions but about freeing ourselves from the burden of resentment.
Disappointment: Dealing with Unmet Expectations
Another major heart issue Zoe explores is disappointment. Life is filled with moments where things don’t go as planned—prayers seem unanswered, doors close, and dreams feel delayed. Instead of suppressing these emotions, Zoe urges listeners to acknowledge them and bring them before God. Disappointment, when not processed properly, can lead to discouragement and even disbelief in God’s promises. She shares insights on how to navigate these feelings while maintaining faith, trusting that what may seem like a setback could actually be a setup for something greater.
The Subtle Danger of Pride
Pride is an issue that many struggle with without even realising it. Zoe highlights how pride can manifest in different ways including stubbornness, unwillingness to admit wrongs, or resistance to correction. She challenges listeners to examine their own hearts and ask: Am I too proud to accept help? Am I too prideful to forgive? Pride, she explains, can be a major barrier to growth and intimacy with God. Humility, on the other hand, opens doors to wisdom, reconciliation, and deeper relationships.
Overcoming Disobedience: Aligning with God’s Will
The final heart issue Zoe addresses is disobedience. Whether it’s delaying what God has called us to do or completely ignoring His instructions, disobedience can keep us stuck. She reminds listeners that obedience is not about perfection but about trust. Trusting that God’s plans are always better than our own. When we choose to obey, even when it’s difficult, we position ourselves for blessings and breakthroughs.
Resources for Healing and Growth
Throughout the episode, Zoe provides practical resources for those looking to dive deeper into emotional and spiritual healing. She recommends books like Soul Care by Dr. Joe Reimer and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero, both of which offer valuable insights into maintaining a healthy heart. She also encourages participation in The Heart Clinic Coaching, 7-day fasts, and Wednesday midnight prayers, tools designed to support personal transformation. I’ve also listed 5 verses below on forgiveness for you to takeaway with you.
5 Bible Verses on Forgiveness and Why it’s Necessary
1. Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
This verse reminds us that forgiveness is not just a suggestion. it’s modelled on the ultimate act of grace shown through Christ. We are called to extend the same mercy to others that God has extended to us.
2. Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV)
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Jesus emphasises that forgiveness is reciprocal. Our willingness to forgive is deeply connected to our relationship with God.
3. Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
This verse encourages patience and grace, urging us to follow God’s example of unmerited forgiveness, even when it’s difficult.
4. Luke 6:37 (NIV)
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Forgiveness is linked to freedom from judgment, condemnation, and the bitterness that comes from holding onto offences.
5. Psalm 103:12 (NIV)
“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”
God’s forgiveness is complete and absolute. This verse is a powerful picture of how thoroughly He cleanses us, setting the standard for how we can release others from their wrongs.
Conclusion
What’s your heart saying? This episode of Matters of the Heart serves as a call to reflection and renewal. Offence, disappointment, pride, and disobedience are barriers that can keep us from stepping into our full potential. But by confronting these issues head-on, seeking healing, and realigning with God’s will, we can move forward with clarity, peace, and purpose.
