The Power of the Tongue: How Complaints Nearly Crippled My Faith

I’ve always been ambitious. I consider myself a proper go-getter who sets goals and chases them with full force. As a teenager I’d tell myself the sky was my stomping ground, not my limit and I genuinely believed this and felt I could do anything I set my mind to. For the most part, things went according to plan. Life had its moments, but overall, I’d say things were pretty smooth until they weren’t.

After I graduated from university, the plans I so carefully laid out started falling apart and I was hitting roadblock after roadblock. For someone who thrived on control and having it all figured out, my goodness I was so confused. I wasn’t used to uncertainty and I didn’t know how to handle it at all. It was very frustrating and I found myself spiralling in every way you could imagine, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Soon enough I had a mouth full of complaints. Lot’s of them. I complained about how things weren’t working out, how I was doing everything “right” yet nothing seemed to be aligning. I was stressed, anxious and slowly but surely, that positive affirmation babe who believed in speaking life was a goner. I’d become a serial complainer.

The more I complained, the more I questioned. The more I questioned, the more I doubted and the more I doubted, the more I drifted away from God. I was asking questions like, “Why is this happening?” “Do You even care about me?” and eventually, what used to be prayers became rants. It got to a point where the rants were so draining it turned into straight silence. Going to church seemed pointless so I stopped, because if God truly existed, then He must have favourites and I definitely wasn’t one of them. I felt forgotten and overlooked.

The thing is, the tongue holds power. Real, life-altering power. So when everything that rolls off of it is full of negative questions like “why don’t things ever work out for me”, “why is everything going wrong”, “why do I always have to struggle for the things I desire?”, it shouldn’t surprise you when things still aren’t working out for you, everything keeps going wrong and you have to continue struggling for the things you desire.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit — Proverbs 18 verse 21

Looking back now, I realise how my own words built a prison around me because I was feeding my spirit with negativity and doubt every single day. I wasn’t just venting, I was speaking curses over my future and unknowingly watering seeds of fear and unbelief, but God didn’t leave me there. My husband was an anchor in that season. His faith carried me when mine was barely hanging on. He would speak truth over me, gently challenge my mindset and remind me of God’s promises when I couldn’t see them for myself. That’s why I’m such a firm believer that iron truly does sharpen iron.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another — Proverbs 27 verse 17

I also started opening up to a few trusted friends and it was encouraging to know that I wasn’t alone. Others had faced deep valleys too, but their stories didn’t end there. God showed up, the breakthrough came and healing followed. There was purpose even in the pain.

Scripture slowly started to hit differently again and one that stood out to me during that time was:

Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation — Philippians 2 verses 14 to 15

I had been doing the opposite. Complaining had blinded me from seeing God’s hand in my situation. I was so focused on what wasn’t working that I completely missed what He might’ve been doing beneath the surface.

Eventually, I made a choice. A simple but powerful one. I told myself, “If I’m truly going to walk away from my faith, let me give it one more go. But this time, let me actually dig into the Word.” And that decision changed everything because the more I read, the more I began to understand that trials are not signs of God’s absence. If anything, they’re often a setup for something far greater. Over and over again, I saw stories of people in the Bible who faced deep suffering only to experience even deeper redemption.

Job lost everything, yet God restored him double.
Joseph was thrown into a pit and prison before he stepped into the palace.
Hannah cried bitterly before the Lord and was mocked by others, but her womb was later filled.

None of these stories ended in despair so I’ve had to trust that mine won’t either. I’m far from where I hope to be and although my situation hasn’t changed overnight, my heart has by the grace of God. This has made all the difference. Complaining crippled my faith, but gratitude for the things I do have, trust in the same God that turned the story of Job, Joseph and Hannah around, paired with full surrender began to restore it.

Now I’m more mindful of my words and try to be much more conscious of how I speak about my life, my circumstances and my future. If the tongue carries the power of life and death, then I want to be intentional about speaking life over me, always.

The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom, and their tongues speak what is just. The law of their God is in their hearts; their feet do not slip — Psalm 37:30–31

If you’re in a similar season right now, cry out if that’s all you can manage but don’t let your words work against your faith. Speak life, even when it’s hard and especially when it’s hard. God hasn’t forgotten you and you’re not alone.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer — Psalm 19 verse 14

Give Him another chance and let His Word speak louder than your worry.